I just recently saw this movie on Netflix’s featuring Sanaa Lathan, Ernie Hudson, Lynn Whitfield, and Daria Johns. The movie is actually based on the book “Nappily Ever After” written by Trisha R. Thomas.

This film was not ONLY about hair but about a young woman trying to find herself , while dealing with the societal norms of beauty that are constantly placed on women.  I can’t say too much about the movie because I don’t want to give away any spoilers for those who have yet to see it.

I do want to discuss the role Lynn Whitfield played – she was her mother and the typical bougie narcissist person she usually plays in movies.  She was the mother that never let her daughter have any fun or be herself because she wants her hair to stay straight and wants her to constantly act like a lady, so she can find a man.

I HATEEEEEEEE these kinds of women because the child starts to grow resentment towards their parent and instead of being themselves, they’re forced to live their life the way YOU want.  I believe every child should be able to be just that – A CHILD! They shouldn’t be forced to grow up too soon.

If there is one thing I can thank my mother for,  she always let me enjoy my childhood – especially my tomboy phase (which I am still going through all these years later), I rumbled with the boys, and got my hair wet if we went to events.  Obviously, for black women, our hair has always been a touchy subject. We’ve had conversations about “good hair” vs. “bad hair”, weaves, wigs, protective styles, relaxers, our natural hair, and everything in between.  It comes from way back when we actually weren’t allowed in pools, or anywhere near water purely based off the color of our skin.  So some of us just gave up, and was not only terrified of water, but didn’t learn how to swim because we had so many issues to deal with while dry, we didn’t need to add any water to those problems.

This makes me think about one minor part at the end of the movie – Sanaa decides she no longer cares what her mother and fiance thinks and decides to jump in the pool.  She finally let her guard down and dove in without a care in the world.  The camera then spanned to her aunt who said “I don’t think I’ve been in water in at least 50 years”  That hit me so hard – This woman is visibly in her 60’s or 70’s and is admitting that she hasn’t been in water (besides a shower obviously) in decades only because we have this “I refuse to get my hair wet mentality” that has been passed on to us, from generation to generation.

Overall, I thought it was a good movie with a even better message.  Have any of you seen it yet?  If so, what are your thoughts on it?


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  1. I saw it and really enjoyed it! It made me think back to the days when I would blast India Arie’s I AM NOT MY HAIR in my house because I did not want my daughter’s to be influenced by negative societal messages about the texture of their hair.

    Liked by 1 person

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