If there’s one saying I HATE to hear its:”keep it in the family”.  I can’t speak for any other communities but in the black, brown, and hispanic community, this is law, no questions asked.  It’s extremely toxic, unstable, confusing and detrimental to whoever the victim is.  And forget about being in a Christian household, anything that happens to you, will be done in the guise of their faith and put under the category of “God will get us through this”, rather than addressing said problem and finding solutions.

“If you’re a Christian reading this, the Bible clearly instructs us to “confess and be healed” (James 5:16). Confessing—bringing things out into the open—brings forth healing. Shoot, even if you’re not a bible believer, there is NOTHING healthy, logical, or beneficial about enduring abuse from a family member in silence. All it does is give the victimizer the power to keep harming you (and probably others) over and over again. (It also ups the chances of you hurting others too because sometimes “hurt people hurt people”. I saw this quote from another blogger named Necole – article found here

There was no way I couldn’t add the above quote , Necole hit the nail on the head for everything I wanted to say about some Christian folks.  I’m aware that one needs to honor their parents, but if they’re toxic, why would you insist someone to stay and tolerate that behavior JUST BECAUSE they share the same blood? NO ONE asks to be here, you either have the choice to stay abstinent, wear protection, get an abortion, or put the child up for adoption.  So if you choose to keep this child, then you MUST go out of your way to keep them safe in every way.  You shouldn’t beat your kids, let people molest them, belittle them, or disrespect them.  There are 2 places people should feel safe at – that’s in the grave and in their house, so if a child doesn’t feel safe in their own home, you can only imagine how they will start to act out.  The world is cold enough without thinking no one in your family has your back.
We have to stop sweeping personal and family issues under the rug, and get over this idea that God is the only therapy we need.  IT’S BULLSHIT!!!!! Why can’t we reach out for help?  We have to accept that generational cycles do exist!


“Break the curse. Don’t be the curse. That’s a motto that I unapologetically live by”


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  1. I hate that people know so much of the shit is wrong but take it to the grave. They could prevent someone else from being hurt if they speak up or even just distance themselves from toxic relatives.

    Liked by 1 person

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